Detour

It hadn’t always been this way; there had been a time when his eyes hadn’t wandered from his wife to the pretty girls at the bar, but thinking back he really couldn’t remember when.

He’d never strayed – never taken the road that could not be undone, but this time for some reason it was different; it was as though he was drawn as a moth is to a flame, and he felt powerless to resist.

Perhaps it was because he was alone in a late night bar in the big city, or perhaps it was that he’d had just a little too much too drink – the result was the same, tonight was the time for something new; something different.

He steeled himself, checked himself up and down and made his move; the room vanishing around him as he struck up a conversation.

In that moment he realized that he would never want a woman again.

 

Lillie McFerrin

30 thoughts on “Detour

  1. Sarah says:

    oh my he’s taken a real detour – I like your twisted tale!

  2. I’m really enjoying your fiction pieces-especially since I can never anticipate your hairpin turns.

  3. Damn! You knocked this one out of the park, my friend. 🙂

  4. Wow! Completely unexpected ending. Nice job 😀

  5. wow huge twist at the end- well done 🙂

  6. Mark K says:

    Nicely done with a great build-up to that punch. Great writing skill, sir!

  7. JazzBumpa says:

    Wow. That’s an epiphany.
    Didn’t see it coming.
    Well done.

    JzB

  8. Sarah Mac says:

    Well I wasn’t expecting that! Great twist.

  9. Brilliant Andrew. Really compact and efficient writing. Short, bittersweet and a kick at the end.

    Cheers,

    W.

    • Andrew says:

      Thanks Wayne. It’s amazing what can be communicated in five sentences. I really like this concept. Thanks for visiting!

  10. Wow. Your sentences really grabbed me. And, that ending. Love it!

  11. Sandra says:

    A real turning point in his life. Very nicely done, Andrew.

  12. Well crafted selection of 5, Andrew. I love the slam at the end! A defining moment!

  13. Not where I thought it was going! lol

  14. akismet-32413b224e7bf3d13069184e51efa866 says:

    ” . . .the room vanishing around him as he struck up a conversation,” total commitment to straying and then, bam! he’s done. Niiice!

  15. Andrew says:

    Thanks for stopping by!

  16. TheOthers1 says:

    That last line was a game changer. My eyebrows shot to my hairline there. There’s plenty else I could say (about his deciding to cheat and whom he’ll be cheating with), but I’ll settle on saying great job.

    • Andrew says:

      I suspect his own eyebrows shot to his hairline as he made his discovery too! Thanks for the encouragement.

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