Quite possibly the defining moment of my life was the instant at which I delivered our first child. Standing in the hospital room in scrubs, sounds of pain still ringing in the air, disaster everywhere but in the midst of it all, a perfect little life form in my hands. In that instant I truly knew love and I realized with stark awareness that life would never be the same. In that magical moment the drama of the previous hours was gone, replaced by peace previously unknown. My progeny lying there looking up at me.
It’s impossible to convey the feeling that fatherhood brings. You can use all of the right words; love, pride, protector, provider and many others but it just doesn’t do justice to the depth of emotion that you feel, and the dramatic change that occurs from within your inner being.
To love something so very much that you’d die without a second thought in order to save it was perhaps the most profound realization that occurred from this process. It didn’t happen instantly, but like a rocket ship it started slowly and never stopped accelerating until I felt that I would explode with love for her. Even now, years later I still think that I love her more every day. Is love boundless? Perhaps.
Fatherhood isn’t just about parenting, it’s about a state of mind; a paradigm shift from the selfish to the selfless. It’s not something that you can learn or even prepare for. It’s something that’s innate in man and that we get to experience if we are very, very lucky. To know fatherhood is to reach a little closer to the heavens than ever was possible before.